A floppy relationship triangle exists when the man in question is at the apex of that triangle and the two women are represented by the other two points.Each woman is connected to the man but they are not usually connected to each other. The gamut can run from two women who have known one another in the past, even possibly friends, to total strangers who are now connected to each other only by being attached in some way to the same man.There are lots of different reasons why couples call it quits but no matter how or why, all divorced people have one thing in common -- being asked, "So, why did you get divorced?" It isn't necessarily a question: sometimes the answer helps people gauge their own relationships.Time Elapsed A new separation is clearly more undefined.Committed couples often hit major snags in a relationship and lose each other for a period of time.Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani's rocky marital history -- he's now on wife No. Aren't wives the ones who say "I want a divorce" two-thirds as many times as men?3, Judith -- was well known when he he threw his hat into the presidential ring in 2008. Don't women have unrealistic expectations about marriage?
They're quick to assume what they consider the obvious, that I must be pretty crappy marriage material because I "failed" at two of them. Or, more likely, something must be very "wrong" with me. Serial marriages aren't that uncommon, especially among celebs -- Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, Larry King come to mind.
This is one of the most common dilemmas my patients have brought to me over the past four decades.
Though there are multiple variations on the theme, there is one way in which they all are similar: two women are in a competitive triangle with the same man.
Women, who tend to be more vocal about their emotional struggles, are the squeaky wheel that gets the grease from friends, from online communities, from books, and from therapeutic approaches.
Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own.